I am finding myself in new territiory with my EX (my oldest 2 boys bio-logical father) In the last few years we have developed common ground... Let me tell you - It is so nice to know when we talk there isn't any fighting and arguing... Now we can talk about anything and everything... Sometimes we can spend hours on the phone... In the past few months he has been more active in the boys life more than he ever has... He does more and calls more now than he did when he was in the same town as we were... He hasn't seen the kids in 1 yr + 4months... We are trying to make it possible for him to fly out here by himself to visit the boys... I don't want to mention it to the kids yet cuz I don't want to get there hopes up just yet...
Lately there have been people who have tried to cause problems for me and my ex.... I am still in shock that he stood up for me and Belived me and took my side just on my word... I was telling the truth, but he has never belived me before, much less stand up for me... I am finding myself in new territory ... I feel like I am walking on egg shells... It is so nice to know that NOBody is going to come in between my ex and I -- & I don't want that to change....
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Worrying about things light years away
Y do I worry about everthing even things that seem light years away?
2day I am also completely freaking out about things that are so far away it is riduculous... those who know me know I am always freaking out about retirement which for Kevin is at least 12years away and me is more like 40years away... But 2day I have an all new worry...
I am concerned about getting a will done and all the legal stuff that way when something happens to me everything is already in place... I obivously have trust issues and Don't care enough to consider most people a "friend." That is a word I take just, as if not more, seriously than the word "Marraige"
So what do I do when There is NO ONE on this Earth that I KNOW that I would trust with my kids if Kevin and I were to die?
I wonder how many people as young as me drive themselves crazy about this kind of thing?
2day I am also completely freaking out about things that are so far away it is riduculous... those who know me know I am always freaking out about retirement which for Kevin is at least 12years away and me is more like 40years away... But 2day I have an all new worry...
I am concerned about getting a will done and all the legal stuff that way when something happens to me everything is already in place... I obivously have trust issues and Don't care enough to consider most people a "friend." That is a word I take just, as if not more, seriously than the word "Marraige"
So what do I do when There is NO ONE on this Earth that I KNOW that I would trust with my kids if Kevin and I were to die?
I wonder how many people as young as me drive themselves crazy about this kind of thing?
Struggling to keep it together
Struggling to keep it together
For some reason there a a few certain people who get under my skin with very little effort... They have the tendency to being out the worst part of me... I am struggling to maintain a mature out look and ignore it... But for some reason when it comes to my Ex and his New Flavor at the time... I just lose it... I become the me that I shed long ago...
I wish I could show them the me that I am now... The Me that Kevin helped to bring out... Kevin truely brings out the best in me... Why is it even after all these years my issues with my EX and the MANY girls he has had come and go still has such an effect on me???
For some reason there a a few certain people who get under my skin with very little effort... They have the tendency to being out the worst part of me... I am struggling to maintain a mature out look and ignore it... But for some reason when it comes to my Ex and his New Flavor at the time... I just lose it... I become the me that I shed long ago...
I wish I could show them the me that I am now... The Me that Kevin helped to bring out... Kevin truely brings out the best in me... Why is it even after all these years my issues with my EX and the MANY girls he has had come and go still has such an effect on me???
Military Life
December 3, 2008 - Wednesday
Military Life blows especially with the new baby on the way ;-(
We were planning on going back to the states for summer vacation after the baby is born and we just found out 2day that Kevin will be going to Iraq. That means he will miss the most important infant months of our new babies life... he will miss all of the babies 1sts like crawling ect... I am so heartbroken and upset.
Military Life blows especially with the new baby on the way ;-(
We were planning on going back to the states for summer vacation after the baby is born and we just found out 2day that Kevin will be going to Iraq. That means he will miss the most important infant months of our new babies life... he will miss all of the babies 1sts like crawling ect... I am so heartbroken and upset.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
R some friends worth the trouble?
I have tried and tried to make certain relationships work
(My marriage is perfect, maybe the term friendships would be better)
It's hard having to conceed cuz I was really hoping.
Sometimes Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go and to realize that there are somethings or some people that will NEVER change or get better no matter how hard you try. I guess it will always be hard to lose a 'friend'
What happened to friends to the end and friends that would do anything for you? Now Days it just seems people are more than happy to forget who they should care about most just because the grass looks greener elsewhere. They move on with there life as if friendship was as easy as finishing the next chapter or closing a book.
I guess I am rambling...
(My marriage is perfect, maybe the term friendships would be better)
It's hard having to conceed cuz I was really hoping.
Sometimes Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go and to realize that there are somethings or some people that will NEVER change or get better no matter how hard you try. I guess it will always be hard to lose a 'friend'
What happened to friends to the end and friends that would do anything for you? Now Days it just seems people are more than happy to forget who they should care about most just because the grass looks greener elsewhere. They move on with there life as if friendship was as easy as finishing the next chapter or closing a book.
I guess I am rambling...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Pictures of my Family
My Boys Nathaniel and Domnic - Easter in Germany 2008
SeaWorld SanDiego CA 2008
SeaWorld SanDiego CA 2007 with my wonderful In-Laws
Me and My Lil Bro (Bryan)
Me and My Mom (Rose)
Getting Started
A friend of mine has talked me into creating this blog... or should I say trying to create it...
We will see how it goes
We will see how it goes
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